Love

“Time heals all wounds” how many times have we heard this and how many times have we thought not this time? I am in that place right now. Most people discount my marriage…it’s not real to them. We’ve never lived in the same house, went to sleep or woke up in the same bed, shared a meal together, watched a movie, cuddled on the couch, the list goes on and on but none of those things matter when you are dealing with your heart. I love my husband and I know he loves me and maybe because we don’t have those connections it is easy for people to discount our love and commitment to each other. I think it’s easy for us to discount our commitment. The last few months have been particularly rough for both of us. My husband turned 40 in prison. He has had 21 birthdays in prison….that alone has to weigh heavily on his mind.  So dealing with our marriage has been extremely difficult. We are in the process of getting a divorce. We have not spoken to each other in 2 weeks and have not seen each other in 2 months. This is all his choice. He does not want to talk to me or see me. In his words I am very good at marriage but horrible at being a wife. I don’t even know what to make of that statement. Sometimes I feel like this last year was all a dream that it really did not happen or that I am in some alternate universe and that this really is reality. I am trying hard to stay strong and stay positive. I know all things happen for a reason and maybe the fact that I held on to this idea that  he was my soul mate for 20 years and I needed to realize that was not the case. Love never fails….over and over again I have to keep repeating that statement to myself. Love never fails….